Dorothy Allison

With reading the first half of the book I'm a little confused. Why would Dorothys family be so mean to her. Like when I believe it is her aunt that is combing her hair and said to her that atleast she is smart. Which means she is calling Dorothy ugly. Why would anyone want to put a little girls hopes down? She was in 3rd grade at that time so she was around 7 or 8 years old. I remember when I was that young, everything negative someone would say I would take to heart because your so young that you don't know any better. Maybe she was saying that because all the women in the family get treated badly and aren't pretty so she is trying to let Dorothy know not to get her hopes up because she is just going to end up like the rest of the women and get called a bitch by her husband and not have a great life. But what confuses me is why she wouldn't want to give Dorothy confidence. Whether Dorothy had a good life or not, when someone keeps putting you down like that, it makes you insecure and doesn't give you much hope for your life.